Even before Donald Tump declared a “national emergency” at the southern border (because refugees were trying to cross and Trump’s toxic base doesn’t like that), the xenophobe-in-chief had ordered active U.S. troops to the border to “support” Border Patrol efforts and to string a few sections of makeshift border fence using concertina wire, more commonly known as razor wire. It may have meant thousands in America’s armed forces were spending the holidays away from their families, but at least the border would be “secure,” right? Finally, an impenetrable military line worthy of our status as great power.
Or, you know, not that. Because thieves in Tijuana, Mexico are simply making off with sections of the wire, selling them to city homeowners who are using it to shore up their own home “security.”
Some homes in the same area had identical wire installed in front of their homes, as an added layer of protection to their property lines and fences, but residents declined to comment about how they obtained the material.
Tijuana officials report between 15 to 20 arrests for the nighttime thefts, while government contractors on this side of the border work to replace the stolen wire.
There is no word on how the mighty American administration will respond to this dangerous attack on our military fortifications. Will Trump order military action, perhaps a shock and awe—styled incursion into Mexico to retrieve the stolen wire? Are airstrikes in order? Surely, we are dealing with dangerous foes, if they have managed to make off with Donald Trump’s border wall armed only with a pair of snippers and a handful of zip ties.
Fear not, however. If Donald Trump can bring North Korea to the negotiation table, getting Absolutely Not A Damn Thing in exchange for severely curtailing military exercises with their South Korean enemies, it is certain he will deal with this problem with the same keen strategic thinking.
But as of right now? Mexican homeowners are building walls … and America is paying for them.