Pedophile-in-Chief Epstein wants to keep his finances secret. Just like someone else we know.

Courtesy of the New York Post:

A cloud of mystery has long surrounded Jeffrey Epstein’s finances, which have come under renewed scrutiny this week in the wake of his indictment on sex trafficking charges — but he’s taking steps to make sure the mystery stays alive.

Attorneys for the multimillionaire — who likes to pass himself off as a billionaire — submitted a bail application on Thursday in which they offer up his $77 million Upper East Side townhouse and his private jet as collateral and, in a separate filing, Reid Weingarten, the lead attorney in Epstein’s defense, has asked a judge if Epstein’s records could be filed under seal.

“Here, in the event Mr. Epstein is required to publicly file his financial statement, the information contained therein will inevitably be widely disseminated in the news media, contravening the statutory requirement of confidentiality,” Weingarten wrote.

This is coming out at the same time that people are actively trying to determine just how Epstein made all of that money in the first place.

Courtesy of New York Magazine Intelligencer

For decades, Epstein has been credulously described as a big-time hedge-fund manager and a billionaire, even though there’s not a lot of evidence that he is either. There appears little chance the public is going to get definitive answers anytime soon. In a July 11 letter to the New York federal judge overseeing Epstein’s sex-trafficking case, Epstein’s attorney offered to provide “sealed disclosures” about Epstein’s finances to determine the size of the bond he would need to post to secure his release from jail pending trial. His brother, Mark, and a friend even offered to chip in, if necessary.

Naturally, this air of mystery has especially piqued the interest of real-life, non-pretend hedge-funders. If this guy wasn’t playing their game — and they seem pretty sure he was not — what game was he playing? Intelligencer spoke to several prominent hedge-fund managers to get a read on what their practiced eyes are detecting in all the new information that is coming to light about Epstein in the wake of his indictment by federal prosecutors in New York. Most saw signs of something unsavory at the heart of his business model.

To begin with, there is much skepticism among the hedgies Intelligencer spoke with that Epstein made the money he has — and he appears to have a lot, given a lavish portfolio of homes and private aircraft — as a traditional money manager. A fund manager who knows well how that kind of fortune is acquired notes, “It’s hard to make a billion dollars quietly.” Epstein never made a peep in the financial world.

Epstein was also missing another key element of a typical thriving hedge fund: investors. Kass couldn’t find any beyond Epstein’s one well-publicized client, retail magnate Les Wexner — nor could other players in the hedge-fund world who undertook similar snooping. “I don’t know anyone who’s ever invested in him; he’s never talked about by any of the allocators,” says one billionaire hedge-fund manager, referring to firms that distribute large pools money among various funds.

So how did Epstein make all of his money?

Well, there is a theory about that:

Given this puzzling set of data points, the hedge-fund managers we spoke to leaned toward the theory that Epstein was running a blackmail scheme under the cover of a hedge fund.

If that is true it could possibly explain why Epstein keeps escaping the clutches of law enforcement, assuming that prominent businessmen and politicians are among his vicitims. 

And it could also explain why Trump is working quietly to protect Epstein.

Donald Trump is easily one of the people most susceptible to blackmail in the entire country, and it stands to reason that if the Russians have dirt on him that good old American conmen do as well. 

In fact, according to The Week, Epstein has a steel safe on his Caribbean island, well outside the reach of law enforcement, that nobody is allowed to go near. 

I’m no Sherlock Holmes but I would think that the FBI might want to try to gain access to that safe.