Denmark offers to by United States

Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America.

Rich in natural resources the territory covers almost 10 million square kilometers and is said to contain huge oil and gas reserves.  A minor problem pointed out by the Prime Minister is that, for all its riches, land area and natural beauty, the US is also home to the fattest population on the planet as well as containing pockets of religious zealots and products of cousin marriage.

Russian Premier Vladimir Putin who bought the US with a videotape of two prostitutes entertaining an American “real estate developer” told The Rochdale Herald. “It’s a pretty good deal and we’re open to discussing it with Denmark. Russia bought North America for the price of two hookers and a large bottle of Evian Water, so, anything over 75 rubles is a good return on our investment.”

“Denmark would be a pretty good acquirer for the territory. They’re the happiest country in the world, have an amazing welfare state and they can all read.  If Denmark acquires the U.S., perhaps the Danes could establish a top-quality national health system and implement 100% literacy.”